Sunday, September 9, 2007

My Stagnant Footsteps

8 years ago, life seemed completely perfect to me. I had a smile imprinted on my face. Everything i dreamt of, came alive. All my expectations were coming true. I was popular. I was intelligent, a dreamer, a singer, a painter and a flawless daughter. I always thought i was lucky. I seemed to have a blast in my own way. But all of a sudden, everything came to a standstill and till today the blemished life has never been better.

Dreams were shattered. Eyes always brimmed with tears, ears always listened to words which were not meant to be heard and my mind was always thinking as to what happened out of the blue. Everything around me were unforeseen. I became a worthless girl. I fell pretty low in my studies and talents. Life became very hard to live. I started losing people around me, and the sense of 'Was I a sinner' started to erupt. I wanted leave this world for all the things it did to me.


I felt i didn't deserve any of this. But i again built up courage. Fresh new dreams occupied my heart and i wanted to give a life to them. I went on the wrong path, took wrong steps and shattered my dreams with my own hands. The sinner inside me had won again.

I stopped anticipating for impractical dreams. I started to accept the reality and tried to become pragmatic. I became more and more spiritual and i finally found the 'reason' why I'd to go through all this, spiritually. I started believing in the phrase 'whatever happens, happens for a reason'.


Life seemed bright and afresh. I wanted to be alive. I wanted to start all over again. I desired to pull on each day with a sense of being alive. I seemed to have taken a rebirth. I am a changed person now. 20 years of experience have taught me a lot.. more than what I'd intended to learn.

All the past footsteps I took in my life are stagnant now and i don't even want to go near them. I want to rejuvenate myself and smile more often. I want to come out of all the unethical sights which i see everyday and make my life beautiful in my own way. I've started dreaming again. I want to recognize god's beautiful gifts given to me and in fact i've already recognized a few, although i feel there is a lot in store for me.

I am HaPpY


5 comments:

Iceman said...

Its called teenage :P

Sindhu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jayanthi said...

nice blog sindhu,all i want to say is that dont fret over your past ,design your future rather than predicting it and trust me u have got amazing potential just try to unearth it and just want to share these sentences by anne frank with you "EVERY ONE HAS INSIDE OF HIM A PEICE OF GOOD NEWS.THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW GREAT YOU CAN BE!HOW MUCH YOU CAN LOVE!WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH!AND WHAT YOUR POTENTIAL IS!" all da best!!!

Akhilesh said...

Hey !! good one !! me fully surprised u can write so much !!! anyway, abt the serious part, life isn't always the same !! and nothing is permanent. u gotta learn to live with the changes, which are sometimes good , sometimes bad. anyway, i don't think i need to tell u all this cos u've said it all yourself at the end of the blog. n lookin at this, one can see u've gone through a lot in life. but lookin at the positive side of it, u shud actually feel proud abt it tat u've faced so much n come this far !!! keep up the same kinda spirit. good times are bound to come back !!

Kavya c said...

I felt I was seeing a piece of my own brain ! . . I haven't read your rest of articles so far but I can safely presume that THIS ONE SIMPLY HAS TO BE THE BEST . .