Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Purpose, The Disconnection and The Bask

There have been a million times, that I've questioned myself, on my existence in Planet Earth. The number has increased in the past 2 months (Courtesy - The two special people who are threading my life onto spirituality. I will address them as T and C). They say and believe that Everybody is Born here for a Particular Purpose. I have started believing in it too.

The main reason I took a break, and went ahead as a single traveler to Kolkata, was to get some answers. I did get some answers, but the Solution to my Purpose Question is still fuzzy. There are so many new things I want to do now, something I hadn't realised in the past year exactly at this time. I was all confused, influenced and mainly disoriented from my goal. I never took the initiative to take any decisions, but ironically the decision to NOT take any decision has paved a new path for me now. This new path is green, fresh and rosy. Yes, it has the thorn-filled stone obstacles that I have to pass on first.
Kolkata trip gave me a disconnection, and allowed me to ponder over things that I dont normally get to do here. I enjoyed every moment of those 7 days. The trip was something very personal, so I dont want to get into details on this public forum.

So, when does one's life get a meaning? I always thought a successful marriage with a very compatible partner would make a living worthwhile; but I cant believe myself as to how my views have flipped in just a couple of months. I was taught about Karma Yoga by C and T, and I was amazed how it never occurred to me all these years, even when I would go WoW over people who love and enjoy their work. I want to engage myself that will make a difference to MY life. For instance, teaching a math problem to a kid will make my day, but it might not seem that special to another person. This is a very crude and a small example, I want something big. Then again, 'big' in my perspective.

I am very glad I am enjoying the job I have right now. I am getting to re-live my college days, flexible timings are allowing me to explore my other side - Learning the Sitar, something I never did all these days. But, I am looking for something more. Something that can give a meaning to my life, to my existence. Something that will convey, ''Yes, this is what I was born to do". I want to attain Karma Yoga atleast to a little extent. Current status is probably 0.5%. A 50% would satisfy me for sure.

One more important thing I have realised is that, you need a guide i
n every step of your life. Especially when you are hellbent on determining the significance of your birth. It can be anybody, right now I feel I have the best guides in the world - T and C. Feels like it was destined to have met them. I have been given a wild card, an option that I never felt I had it in me.

If everything goes just the way I have planned now, I will need 2 years to get past the obstacle path, get a view of my Purpose clearly. Reaching the Purpose and staying in it, will take my entire life.

I will be 23 in exactly 5 days. I want to create a New Me, from Age 23. So many things that seemed important all these years, seem frivolous, for no reason whatsoever!

I want to Bask in the Glory of the Lucid Beautiful Life.

Bask in the Glory

No more walking on the deserted path,
No more the lost loner
I want to Bask in the Glory,
That is awaiting for me.

Adept at being the Creator,
Endow me the Grant,
That I know is hankering in me,
I want to Bask in the Glory.


I cease to disappear the illusion,
And hold on to the bona fide,

Carefully pacing a slow crusade,

Knowing, it is awaiting for me.

I have the bearing of a comer,

By no means, diminished or weary,
I so want to Bask in the Glory,

That is awaiting for me.

9 comments:

Deepak said...

Life becomes more meaningful when we realize the reason of our existence..when there is always something to get up to.. and I'm glad you're growing in the right direction.

Mallika S said...

U'll BASK IN THE GLORY..

vinay p said...

Very mature thoughts... look forward to more such posts. BTW can you tell who does T & C stand for? ;) of course not Terms & Conditions right ? ;)

Sindhu said...

Thanks Deepak and Mallika.

Sindhu said...

Ha ha, no Vinay, they are my family friends, who have become my guides now. Cant mention there names here.

Shubhashree N S said...

I think the urge for something BIG that makes our lives meaningful; which brings that spark and charm to the life in a broader sense really is the first step towards glory.

This's like reflecting the fuzzy thoughts that I get engrossed in all the time! Loved the article.

PROPITIOUS(to follow click on follow button) said...

mysteriously complicated, yet simple... but still couldn't satisfy my angle of thinking....seems like i am in a completely different time horizon:)

pavanpalyam said...

nice post sindhu. its every mans dream to get to know why he was born.. hope u get to know it soon..

Jayanthi said...

I have been doing an eternal soul searching stuff about 'w-o-r-k".I am struck in the duality between "doing what you love" and "loving what you are given to do".It's difficult to find a common ground.I second your thoughts about "Karma yoga".On that note,i am tempted to share these links with you.Check it out.

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

http://tinyurl.com/64lnhe3

Nice to read your blog after a long time :-)