The Purpose, The Disconnection and The Bask

There have been a million times, that I've questioned myself, on my existence in Planet Earth. The number has increased in the past 2 months (Courtesy - The two special people who are threading my life onto spirituality. I will address them as T and C). They say and believe that Everybody is Born here for a Particular Purpose. I have started believing in it too.

The main reason I took a break, and went ahead as a single traveler to Kolkata, was to get some answers. I did get some answers, but the Solution to my Purpose Question is still fuzzy. There are so many new things I want to do now, something I hadn't realised in the past year exactly at this time. I was all confused, influenced and mainly disoriented from my goal. I never took the initiative to take any decisions, but ironically the decision to NOT take any decision has paved a new path for me now. This new path is green, fresh and rosy. Yes, it has the thorn-filled stone obstacles that I have to pass on first.
Kolkata trip gave me a disconnection, and allowed me to ponder over things that I dont normally get to do here. I enjoyed every moment of those 7 days. The trip was something very personal, so I dont want to get into details on this public forum.

So, when does one's life get a meaning? I always thought a successful marriage with a very compatible partner would make a living worthwhile; but I cant believe myself as to how my views have flipped in just a couple of months. I was taught about Karma Yoga by C and T, and I was amazed how it never occurred to me all these years, even when I would go WoW over people who love and enjoy their work. I want to engage myself that will make a difference to MY life. For instance, teaching a math problem to a kid will make my day, but it might not seem that special to another person. This is a very crude and a small example, I want something big. Then again, 'big' in my perspective.

I am very glad I am enjoying the job I have right now. I am getting to re-live my college days, flexible timings are allowing me to explore my other side - Learning the Sitar, something I never did all these days. But, I am looking for something more. Something that can give a meaning to my life, to my existence. Something that will convey, ''Yes, this is what I was born to do". I want to attain Karma Yoga atleast to a little extent. Current status is probably 0.5%. A 50% would satisfy me for sure.

One more important thing I have realised is that, you need a guide in every step of your life. Especially when you are hellbent on determining the significance of your birth. It can be anybody, right now I feel I have the best guides in the world - T and C. Feels like it was destined to have met them. I have been given a wild card, an option that I never felt I had it in me.

If everything goes just the way I have planned now, I will need 2 years to get past the obstacle path, get a view of my Purpose clearly. Reaching the Purpose and staying in it, will take my entire life.

I will be 23 in exactly 5 days. I want to create a New Me, from Age 23. So many things that seemed important all these years, seem frivolous, for no reason whatsoever!

I want to Bask in the Glory of the Lucid Beautiful Life.

Bask in the Glory

No more walking on the deserted path,
No more the lost loner
I want to Bask in the Glory,
That is awaiting for me.

Adept at being the Creator,
Endow me the Grant,
That I know is hankering in me,
I want to Bask in the Glory.

I cease to disappear the illusion,
And hold on to the bona fide,
Carefully pacing a slow crusade,
Knowing, it is awaiting for me.

I have the bearing of a comer,
By no means, diminished or weary,
I so want to Bask in the Glory,
That is awaiting for me.